There are seasons in life that feel relentless. Moments when the world around us shifts, plans fall apart, and the pressure seems to come from every direction. I have been through enough of these seasons personally to know that how we respond to hard times matters far more than the hard times themselves.
Over the years, I have asked thousands of students a simple but powerful question: “Is there a reason for this season?” Not as a way of dismissing what is hard, but as a way of reframing it. The question opens a door that the typical “Why me?” keeps firmly shut.
“We are not in charge of what happens to us in life, but we are in charge of how we respond to it.”
Glen Gerreyn
Here are eight strategies I return to again and again when times get tough, and that I share with students across Australia to help them navigate adversity and come out stronger on the other side.
1. Flip the Question
When we face adversity, the instinctive question is “Why me?” It is understandable, but it is ultimately disempowering. A far better question, and one that consistently unlocks progress, is this: “What am I now seeing that I did not see before?”
This is a question of empowerment. When we refuse to be oppressed by our circumstances but rather educated by their arrival, we can discover the reason for the season. The real power in this shift is that instead of spending energy trying to escape a difficult moment, we extract meaning from it. Indeed, positive psychology consistently shows that meaning-making is one of the most powerful predictors of resilience.
Positive wellbeing is often more visible in times of trouble than in times of triumph. We have the tools. The question is whether we choose to use them.
2. Check Your Attitude
In moments of confusion and uncertainty, our mental and emotional approach makes all the difference. We are not always in charge of what happens to us, but we are always in charge of how we respond.
Storms are inevitable for all of us. When they arrive, we need to develop the capacity to brace for them rather than resist them. Within psychology, the term coping refers to what people do to reduce stress and discomfort. Athletes understand this well: when the pressure to perform is high, the function of the mind is to cope. Specifically, the only way to become good at coping with discomfort is to experience it.
Below are twenty helpful strategies for coping with stress during any difficult period in your life:
- Positive self-talk
- Have a laugh
- Physical activity
- Connecting with others
- Acceptance
- Seek professional help
- Meditation
- Brainstorm solutions
- Creative activities (drawing, writing, colouring)
- Clean or organise your environment
- Serve someone in need
- Make a gratitude list
- Visualisation
- Deep, slow breathing
- Distraction
- Getting a good night’s sleep
- Go outside
- Listen to music
- Ask for a hug
- Eat a healthy meal
3. Love Others
The greatest way to enlarge your heart is to love others. I have seen this truth play out in the most ordinary moments. My young son once noticed our elderly neighbour was distressed after her husband was taken to hospital. Without being prompted, he asked if we could buy her flowers. I watched from across the street as he stood at her door for fifteen minutes, talking and listening. She had tears in her eyes.
His act of love not only touched her and her family, but transformed something in all of us who witnessed it. Love magnifies with deliberate application, not only for the receiver but for the giver as well. Loving relationships strengthen and fortify us against future adversity. Do all you can to spread love to those closest to you.
4. Create More Than You Consume
During difficult or uncertain times, it is easy to consume copious amounts of digital content. From social media to streaming services, the temptation to switch off and scroll is intense. The key rule I use with my own children is simple: create more than you consume.
Getting the balance wrong can be debilitating for our health and wellbeing. Imagine if you could only breathe in but never breathe out. Or consider how you feel after days of eating without exercising. Excess consumption, particularly of unfiltered digital content, leaves us emotionally depleted. In contrast, creation generates momentum and positive energy.
Create something: a video, a drawing, a story, an idea to share with your family. Even if you never share it, the act of creation triggers a cascade of positive emotions. Moreover, it gives you a sense of agency and purpose that passive consumption simply cannot provide.
5. Avoid the Slump
Hard seasons can get us in a slump. It can present itself as irritability, sadness and difficulty focusing or making decisions. One of the most effective ways to break out of this state is to create a sense of optimism about your future.
A positive expected outcome gives us the energy and enthusiasm to act. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi said, “Purpose provides activation energy for living.” Finding the areas where you possess both ability and appetite is a gateway towards inspiration. There is a difference between a season and a cycle. Seasons change with time. Cycles change when you change.
Despite what people think, exercising does not make you tired. It creates energy. Research confirms that one of the best antidotes to fatigue is to move more, not less. If you want energy, you have to exert some energy first. Trying to conserve it rarely works. Consequently, even a short walk or ten minutes of movement can shift your mood entirely.
6. Read a Book
During any difficult season, make it a priority to read a printed book, one you can touch, feel and hold. It gives your mind the excursion it needs, away from screens and noise. The weight of a real book imparts a sense of grandeur and self-respect that no device can replicate.
Reading for as little as six minutes a day strengthens your brain and reduces stress by up to 68%, according to research from the University of Sussex. It also improves focus, memory and analytical thinking. As Dr Seuss wrote, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” Find a genre you love and commit to it regularly.
7. Dream Like You Have Never Dreamt Before
Adversity has a way of creating clarity. When the stakes are high and there is a lot that can be lost, we are forced to pay attention to what truly matters. Crisis is a place where two roads diverge: one leads to bringing out your best, the other to your worst. You get to decide which road you take.
If you take the road that brings out your best, adversity can become the fuel for your greatest breakthrough. This is why adversity is regarded as a defining moment by so many high achievers, athletes and leaders. Take time each day to dream about your future. Picture the person you want to become. Think about the goals you want to accomplish. Similarly, use difficult seasons to reinvent yourself rather than simply endure them.
8. Become Emotionally Literate
We should not fear what we feel. Emotions are signals and they matter because they affect our thinking, our choices, our connections and our performance. Experiencing strong emotions during hard times is entirely normal and natural.
Strong emotions are neither good nor bad. They can help us focus on what is important, but they can also derail us if left unexamined. The first step in managing your emotions is recognising what they are. Too often when asked how we feel, we resort to vague language: “I’m fine”, “good”, “okay.” By increasing our emotional literacy, we become far more capable of discovering solutions.
For example, there is a meaningful difference between being stressed and being overwhelmed. One solution for stress is developing a mindfulness practice. Overcoming overwhelm might mean we need to delegate more or simplify our commitments. The more precisely we can name what we feel, the more clearly we can act on it.
Hard seasons do pass. They become distant memories, replaced by new challenges and new capacities. The goal is not simply to survive difficult times, but to use them to grow into a stronger, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself.
Want to bring this message to your school? I deliver powerful, values-driven presentations to students across Australia. Book a school presentation or visit The HopeFULL Institute to learn more.