Old habits die hard. But every so often, life hands us a reason to pause, reflect and choose differently. Here are nine habits worth leaving behind for good.
If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
Maya Angelou
1. Digital distancing from the people around us
In fact, every time you pick up your phone in the presence of another person, you are distancing yourself from them. Your mind slips into a wormhole, dissolving geography and eclipsing the limits of time and space to connect with a pixel on a screen.
Our smartphones can connect us to people all across the globe, but they disconnect us from the person sitting right in front of us. They are immensely powerful in their ability to bridge distance, yet deeply disruptive in their ability to erode daily presence, rhythm and genuine connection.
I hope we learn to give the person in front of us the dignity of our full attention. We do not have to post it to prove it. After all, the most meaningful moments in life rarely make it to a screen.
2. Complaining
For example, think about something you once complained about regularly. Going to school. Getting to sport practice. Sitting in traffic on the way to work. Now imagine it was suddenly taken away. Would you miss it?
Although it feels natural, complaining does not bring out the best in us. In fact, it drains us of energy and potential. The reality is that life is full of gifts that disguise themselves as daily grind. Above all, there is sheer goodness in just being human, and I hope we never lose sight of that.
When we catch ourselves complaining, it is worth asking: what would it mean to lose this? That question alone can turn a burden into a blessing.
3. Entitlement
The world does not owe us anything. Bad things do happen to good people. Life is not always fair. The world is messy, people have flaws, and disappointments are part of the journey.
Empathy and humility are the remedies for entitlement. When things do not go to plan, the goal is not to become bitter but to become better. Getting angry every time something does not go our way only breeds discontentment and stalls our growth.
Look for ways to reach out to those in more difficult circumstances. There is always someone carrying a heavier load. Compassion reshapes perspective in ways that entitlement never can.
4. Risk aversion
In contrast, many people spend enormous energy trying to avoid risk. They will reduce their goals to something mediocre, staying in the safe lane rather than pursuing what genuinely excites and challenges them.
But hope, by its nature, involves risk. Believing in a better future when it is not guaranteed takes courage. As American futurist Alvin Toffler wisely put it, the illiterate of this century are not those who cannot read, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.
Nevertheless, dawn will always rise. But hoping does not mean doing nothing. It means going about our assigned tasks, confident of a bright future ahead. Our destiny is not in inaction or compliance. It lives in the practice of being active, engaged and willing to dance with uncertainty.
Risk management, not risk avoidance
The lesson worth carrying forward is this: risk management, not risk avoidance, is the portal to a better world. Lean in. The risk of doing nothing is often greater than the risk of trying.
5. Busyness without purpose
Neil deGrasse Tyson once said that if you want to be creative, be less productive. In the age of busyness, we resist that idea. We want to tick off our list and announce: I cleaned the house, I emptied my inbox, I answered every message.
We want to say we were busy and therefore important. But busyness without intentionality leads to what I call soul exhaustion. You can be flat-out busy and still be going nowhere that matters.
Make space to think
In truth, pressing pause is not laziness. It is a necessity for creativity, clarity and growth. When we give ourselves time to think and reflect, we unlock insights that relentless activity never produces. I hope the habit of creating mental white space becomes a personal preference rather than something we only stumble into under pressure.
6. Neglecting our family
Often, life gets loud and fast. Work, commitments, screens and schedules can quietly crowd out the people who matter most. Families can live under the same roof and barely connect.
I have seen what happens when people deliberately slow down and invest in their families. For instance, dads walking with their daughters. Mums kicking a football with their sons. Grandparents sharing stories with grandchildren. These are the moments that shape character and build belonging.
Ultimately, online comments can never replace real conversations. I hope we choose the conversation, every time.
7. Ingratitude
So many people I meet say, I will be happy when I turn sixteen, when I finish school, when I get my licence, when the kids grow up, when I retire. But why not get happy now?
Life is made up of ordinary, mundane moments. The extraordinary is woven into the everyday, if we have the eyes to see it. There is an American Indian saying: while you are complaining about this and that, a great wind is flying across the sky.
Find wonder in the everyday
Indeed, when researchers interview people who experienced deep loss, the thing they say they miss most is the ordinary moments. The sound of the garage door opening. How someone lovingly set the table. Children laughing together in the backyard. These ordinary moments are what we experience every day. If we can stop and say, I am grateful for this, that is when wonder happens. So do not let it pass you by.
8. Knowing it all
Sometimes we are so eager to know something that we make up an answer and call it a fact. As a species, we gravitate toward certainty and resist the abstract. But some of the most important growth in life comes from sitting with a question longer than feels comfortable.
As a result, can we arrive at school, at work, at a conversation, with more questions than answers? Can we humble ourselves to the point where learning is more valued than knowing?
It is worth asking: have the thinking patterns I have adopted become biased? Do I struggle to hear new ideas without becoming defensive? As Maya Angelou reminded us, knowing how amazing we can be starts with letting go of what we think we already know.
9. Treating complexity as a problem
Furthermore, we live in a world of filters. Many of us have become experts at showing others that our lives are amazing when we are quietly struggling. Too often, we reduce nuanced situations to simple binaries: good or bad, right or wrong, win or lose.
But wisdom lives in the grey. Not everything is black and white, and not every decision is binary. There are always nuances and layers worth exploring. Our world is being divided between those who have trained themselves to handle complexity and those who are overwhelmed by it.
Train your mind for depth
Instead of scrolling aimlessly, train yourself to focus on that which you want to learn. Managing complexity is better for your mental health than trying to avoid it. Life will always involve struggle, but that does not have to steal your joy. Remember, the only way to get strong is to push against resistance. The right amount of challenge causes growth. So go after what creates meaning in your life and trust that you can navigate the complexity.
Therefore, my hope is that you carry these nine insights forward. There are habits worth breaking and new ones worth building in their place. I hope you move into this next chapter forever changed, with a fresh and awakened sense of purpose and direction.
Want to bring this message to your school? I deliver powerful, values-driven presentations to students across Australia. Book a school presentation or visit The HopeFULL Institute to learn more.