Do you ever feel like life has brought you down? Like the weight of circumstances has dulled your edge and you’re not quite the person you know you can be? That feeling is more common than you think. And the good news is: the opportunity to be a better human being is always available.
The key to unlocking that opportunity lies in developing your character. One of the most powerful ways to do that is to set a short list of clear, intentional priorities and commit to them with discipline.
Here are my top five personal goals for staying positive, grounded and purposeful. These five pursuits, practised consistently, will transform the way you show up in the world.
Goal 1: Be Kind
Make a conscious decision that you will spread kindness. Not just to other people but to yourself.
Of course, hearts are opened by acts of kindness. Anyone can be nice, but choose to go all the way and be kind. There is a profound difference between the two.
Ubuntu: I Am Because We Are
‘Ubuntu’ is a Zulu term meaning humanity. But its truer meaning is “I am because we are.” I am a better person because we are connected. My humanity is amplified because you and I live in harmony.
Be kind and you will find it far easier to stay positive. When you extend genuine kindness outward, it has a way of returning to you in ways you can’t always predict or plan for.
Goal 2: Spread Joy
You cannot be all you are destined to be without joy. If your work brings you no joy, it is impossible to devote the time, energy, dedicated focus and practise it takes to develop mastery.
Never postpone your joy. You have a choice in every moment to either enjoy it or detest it.
Viktor Frankl and the Last Human Freedom
Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote in his memoir about the Auschwitz death camp: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
None of our everyday problems even come close to what Viktor Frankl experienced. In any given day, there will be plenty of opportunities to get angry and irritated. If you can’t find a seat during a long journey on public transport, if the gift you were hoping to buy is sold out, if you misplace your AirPods or someone forgets to change the toilet roll, choose to keep your peace. We call this emotional intelligence.
Happiness vs Joy
There is a space between stimulus and response, and that space is prudence. Fill that space with joy and you will have a smile on your face all day.
We need to be assertive and intentional about producing this life-changing positive emotion. We don’t have to live life with the fickle feelings of happiness. Happiness is connected to happenings. That means events must always transpire in a positive way for us to experience happiness.
Joy can exist regardless of how we feel or what is happening in our lives. When you have joy in your heart, even though you have bad feelings, you will find it easier to remember that the bad feelings don’t have you.
Goal 3: Seek Wisdom
American writer and biologist E.O. Wilson said, “We are drowning in information but starving for wisdom.” This idea comprehensively describes the world we are living in. We are literally drowning in opinions, misinformation and noise while starving for truth.
How to Feed Your Mind Well
I want to pursue wisdom so I can walk in openness, humility and empathy, and feed my mind with fresh ideas. One of the ways I do this is by reading a 10-minute book summary every morning and evening, and feeding my mind on positive, life-enriching podcasts.
We are drowning in information but starving for wisdom.
E.O. Wilson
After all, there are hundreds of perspectives available to us. The ones we should pay attention to are the ones which best allow us to pursue our goals in honourable ways. By seeking wisdom, you will come to understand how to stay positive and be inspired to continue striving toward what matters most.
Goal 4: Live With Love
Love is really difficult to write about, even though it is the subject of nearly every song ever written or film ever produced. No single definition can pin it down. Yet love is the most essential element we as human beings need to thrive.
People deprived of love develop dysfunctions and can often despair for life. Our wellbeing depends on our ability to receive love and give love to others, and importantly to ourselves.
From the Barista to the CEO
Make the decision to be a dispenser of love to everyone you meet, from the barista to the barber, from the cleaner to the CEO. The warmth of a genuine smile and an authentic greeting is enough to light up anyone’s day. Sages, rabbis and mystics have long explored the idea of love as a primary force to fashion new worlds.
This kind of love is not just an accessory or an optional extra. Indeed, it is the greatest force for change we have at our disposal.
Love and Parenting
The best way for parents to bring about change within their children is through unconditional love. Love opens the door to an awakening of consciousness and leads people to the right path. Positive parenting expert Dr Jane Nelsen says, “Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we make them feel worse?”
Let love lead the way.
Goal 5: Lead With Hope
The moment you feel as if there is no future, you lose hope. When your future feels uncertain, you can become filled with despair. However, the very definition of hope is a positive expectation of the future, and we can choose to cultivate it.
When you are not moving into your future with confident expectation, you lose hope. The future is where hope exists.
Hope Is Not Just a Strategy
We are at our best when we are hopeful. We are more creative, resilient and empowered. Anyone who says hope is not a strategy does not fully comprehend the power that resonant, optimistic and positive leaders can have in a community. Hope is far more than a strategy. It is a leadership approach.
Buckminster Fuller said, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
Putting It All Together
With each one of these goals, construct a system that works best for you. That system, built around consistent daily action, will render many of your perceived problems obsolete.
The only way our potential transforms itself into actuality is through discipline. Each one of us needs to choose a path of discipline to bring out the inherent goodness and greatness within us. By intentionally following through each day on these five pursuits, you will be so much better placed to move forward feeling confident and filled with hope.
Lean into these five goals with hope and watch your life cascade into a torrent of optimism, joy and freedom.
Want to bring this message to your school? I deliver powerful, values-driven presentations to students and staff across Australia. Book a school presentation or visit The HopeFULL Institute to learn more.